Wednesday, October 18, 2006

LIFE LESSONS
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A friend sent me this list. I thought I’d share. I don’t know where Chuck got it. If I did, I’d credit the author. The photo above is from Annie. It’s the view from her back porch in Minnesota.

As I grow older, I look upon the lessons I have learned in life--
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Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
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Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
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Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
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If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never triedbefore.
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Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
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A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention! It never fails.)
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For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
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Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
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A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
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Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
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Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
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No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
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A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
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Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist
change places.
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Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeksbefore you need it.

2 comments:

dink said...

hahahaha some good ones!

The Big Red Dogs said...

I never throw ANYTHING away! Neat freaks don't get it..... I'll move old paper clips 900 miles 'cause yuo never know.