MY TOP TEN OF 2007

*

There are still several films released in 2007 that I haven't seen yet --- I Am Legend, Juno, Enchanted, No Country for Old Men, There Will Be Blood, Eastern Promises -- but I doubt I'll see them before year's end. So below is my Top Ten Movies of the year that I did see. The top three I enjoyed so much that I picked up DVD copies of them. I'll probably end up with a couple others in my library, too. Anyway, here's my list with No. 1 being my favorite.

*

1) The Lookout. Crime thriller by Scott Frank. Well-done characters, solid storyline with Joseph-Gordon Levitt and Jeff Daniels. Levitt is a star high school hockey player. Life is wonderful and a bright future lays ahead of him. Then he's in a car accident that leaves him with brain damage and little prospects. He gets a job as a graveyard shift janitor at a local town bank and attempts to rebuild his life. No more story hints. This is a story that the less you know the better it is. See this one. It's cool. Jeff Daniels plays Levitt's blind roommate.

2) Live Free and Die Hard. Yep, Bruce Willis is back as cop John McClane and, despite being older, he is still neck-deep in high-tech bad guys and incredible stunts. Popcorn thriller that I just thoroughly enjoyed. Deadwood's Timothy Olyphant is the main bad guy.

3) Stardust. Fantasy adventure with Claire Danes, Michelle Pfeiffer, Robert De Niro and Charlie Cox as the noble Tristan. Not everything works as well as it should but this is fun. I especially liked Pfeiffer as the evil witch, De Niro as the sky pirate, and the ghosts of the murdered princes. Makes me smile just thinking about them.

4) 3:10 to Yuma. A remake of the old Glenn Ford western with Russell Crowe as the captured outlaw and Christian Bale as the poor rancher taking him to jail. Pretty damn good (except for part of the end but the original stumbled there, too.) This is the first Crowe movie I've liked since L.A. Confidential.

5) Distrubia. A spin on the Hitchcock Rear Window storyline with Shia LaBeouf as a high school kid on home arrest who, while watching his neighbors, discovers one (the always reliable David Morse) may be up to no good. Not a classic like the Hitchcock movie with James Stewart and Grace Kelly but good.

The second half of my top ten are:

6) Ratatouille.

7) The Bourne Ultimatum.

8) Breach.

9) Wild Hogs.

10) 28 Weeks Later.

I know. A strange group of movies but I recommend them all.

Louis Armstrong - What A Wonderful World

SHADE
#

Sometimes I stumble across a movie that I hadn’t heard of that turns out to be a pretty decent little film. Shade (2003) was released in a few theatres then went to cable and now DVD. I am surprised that it didn’t receive a wider release and more press.
*
The story centers around three grifters played by Stuart Townsend (a master card mechanic), Gabriel Byrne, and Thandie Newton. They used to be partners in the con-game racket until they had a falling out. They have reunited to take down the reigning king of poker players (and card mechanics) the “Dean” Stevens played, very coolly, by Sylvester Stallone, who plans on retiring after this final game.
*
The less you know going into the movie the better. It is part young talented newcomer wants to beat the old pro and part how do con artists work their trade storylines. It was written and directed by first-timer Damian Nieman who is a card magician. In supporting roles many well-known faces pop up such as Jamie Foxx, Michael Dorn, Bo Hopkins, Hal Holbrook, and the lovely Melanie Griffith as the “Dean” Stevens’ love interest. There are several twists and turns in the story and I’ll have to say a few caught me by surprise. I liked that. Especially when I usually spot the “big” surprise coming from a mile off or the “twist” turns out to be a really lame surprise like in The Usual Suspects or Unbreakable.
*
If you like film noir and films like The Hustler, The Sting, Big Hand for a Little Lady, and Paper Moon, check this movie out. You’ll enjoy the experience. P.S. -- "Shade" is the term for a diversion that focuses people in another direction other than looking at the con artist.

My Referral Check and Ms. Jamie Lee Curtis

*

Every once in a while I check the referral option to see how folks are ending up on my blog. Most of the visitors are from the U.S. but I've also had folks recently from Argentina, France, Germany, Mexico, the Netherlands, Spain, and the U.K. Welcome. My latest check found that people are stopping by to check out pieces I've written about:

Christmas Story

Deadwood

Louis L'Amour's Hanging Woman Creek (a longer review)

Live Free and Die Hard (a short review)

Maureen O'Hara

Tom Selleck westerns

James Stewart westerns

Kate Walsh

but an usual amount (quite a few actually) were people (okay, it was probably all guys) looking for info about Jamie Lee Curtis .... hmmm ... okay, guys, below are a couple pictures of Ms. Curtis. After you check them out, please click on the link to my novels and check them out. A sale or two would be nice for providing this service.

Some Things I've Learned

*

Some things I’ve learned in life so far:
*
As a writer, I’ve learned if you steal from one writer it’s plagiarism but if you steal from a buncha writers at the same time it’s homage.
*
I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
*
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just self-centered jerks.
*
I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.
*
I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
*
I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
*
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
*
I've learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.
*
I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.
*
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are gone much too soon and the real pains in the ass are permanent.

{If you're wondering, I stole this list. Except the first one.}

(The picture above of Jennifer Connelly has absolutely nothing to do with this post except I watched one of my favorite movies the other night and she is one of the stars. If you haven’t seen The Rocketeer, check out it. It does what “fun” movies are supposed to do but rarely do. Plus Ms. C is in it.)

JOKE TIME

*

Two alien scientists in space are scanning Planet Earth.

First alien: "It appears that the dominant life-forms on this planet have developed satellite-based weapons."

Second alien: "Should we be worried? Are they an emerging intelligence?"

"I don't think so," replies the first. "They have the weapons aimed at themselves."

Excerpt from

Rebel Nation

by Christopher Stires

(available from http://www.zumayapublications.com/ and http://www.amazon.com/)

*

McKenna Alexander watched, stunned, powerless, as the CS marshal hustled her handcuffed attorney from the judge's chamber.
“Damnation,” the judge growled. He pressed a handful of yellow tissues to his bleeding nose and tilted his head back. “Give me a moment, people.”
As McKenna sat with the others in the office, she counted the crimson periods dotting the judge’s crisp white shirt. Four. No, five. Blood had also dripped onto the judge’s striped bow tie. Oh, God. She had been confident that the charges against her would be dismissed; absolute in her vindication. Had been. Until one minute ago. Now, however, the only question left unanswered was – how much jail time would she receive before she was run out of the country?
“Excuse me,” the judge said, rising awkwardly from his black-leather chair. He edged his head further back and pinched the nostrils harder. Then he walked into the office bathroom. The dark walnut door remained open.
From the hall corridor, a second marshal stepped inside.
All in the chamber were quiet.
McKenna twisted the delicate gold chain on her wrist. She should have accepted the NBC anchor job. Landry had offered the network position twice. He had flattered her unmercifully with the proposals each time. Not only, he’d said in his coarse Texas drawl, would she be the first female anchor on any of the television networks in the South but, at thirty-four, she would also be the youngest. The ratings for the network evening news were up and, even the suits in New York, credited her with the increase. The latest viewer surveys showed that people liked and, more importantly, trusted her. Plus, she had proven herself time and time again with the hard news stories and interviews she delivered.
She’d noted that Landry had tactfully avoided the disasters she had been involved with. He also didn’t mention all the mail the network had received when he first brought her to Richmond four years ago. It was bad enough, most of the letters and e-mail read, that the network was owned by Yankees. They could live with that since they had to but they definitely didn’t want some blonde Yankee bitch telling them the news each night. If it hadn’t been for Cullen’s encouragement, she didn’t know whether or not she would have survived the first year.
She said no to the anchor position. Both times. She told Landry she loved Richmond, she had made her home here after all, and the city on the James River was the Confederate nation’s capitol, and this was where national policy and agenda were decided, but Richmond was not the entire Confederacy and she enjoyed living out of a duffel bag and not knowing in which of the thirteen states she would be each week. On Monday she could be in Tennessee and by Friday in the Carolinas and the following Tuesday in New Mexico. She would miss the road and the adventure. And she hated the idea of being locked behind a desk introducing other reporters who would be doing the assignments she wanted.
This morning that decision was moot.
The Confederate Attorney General had decided that she did not want McKenna covering any news stories. Even events like the cotton harvest in the Texas Panhandle and fishing conditions in the Louisiana Bayou were too much for her. She wanted McKenna a vague memory.
But McKenna would not go gently. Not for the Attorney General, not for anyone.

*

from the 5-Star reviews at Amazon:

*

"Awesome read! Great details and world building! ... If you've ever even toyed with the idea of reading alternate history, this book is for you!"

*

"...delivers from the very beginning ... a thumping good read."

*

"...held my interest until the very last page... a good mystery."

*

"Just when I thought the theme of the South winning the Civil War had been done to death this author proves me wrong."

*

"...compelling book. From its first page..."

As Time Goes By

LIVE FREE or DIE HARD

*

Finally got to see the fourth Die Hard movie. Over-the-top? Yes. Bruce Willis still cool as Detective John McClane? Yes. They blow stuff up real cool? Of course. Better villain than Alan Rickman in DH1? Well, no. Hans Gruber is one of my favorite movie bad guys of all time. Timothy Olyphant of Deadwood is just okay.

How would I sum up Die Hard 4?

*

Yippee-ki-yay!

Don't be shy, tell me what you really think...

*

MORON JOKES

(replace the word "moron" with your favorite group to pick on)

*

Two morons living in Oklahoma were talking, and one moron says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?'

The other moron turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?'

*

A moron pushes their BMW into a gas station. Tells the mechanic it died.

After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

Moron says, 'What's the story?'

He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'

Moron asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

*

A moron is out walking and comes to a river. Sees another moron on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' moron shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'

The second moron looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'

*

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the driver behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that the moron was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'

'NO!' the moron yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'

*

A moron was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was their turn. The moron rolled the dice and landed on Science & Nature. Their question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'

The moron thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'

*

A moron visiting a moron friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked what their names were.

The second moron responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

The first moron said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'

'HELLLOOOOOOO,' answered the second moron. 'They're watch dogs!

HANGING WOMAN CREEK (1964)
by
Louis L’Amour
*
A Review
*

When I was younger, Louis L’Amour was one of my favorite writers. But he dropped off the Top Ten list quite a while ago. I discovered writers like William Goldman, Larry McMurtry, and Stephen King who far surpassed him in style, characterization, and plot. I also read more in my younger days, too. Had more time. I still love a good novel though. A good, compelling novel with cool style and solid characters is better than a movie and I love movies. Anyway, my own writing is struggling at the moment (to say the least) and, after I finished my day-off chores I decided to read something. Anything. But I wanted to read. (I had one more item on my day-off something-fun list. See blog below for that adventure.) I went to a nearby used book store and found myself in the western section. I bought Hanging Woman Creek. I didn’t recall having read it before.

*

Barnabas “Pronto” Pike is a foot-loose cowboy who likes to get into fistfights for fun. Winter is coming on and Pike doesn’t have a job. He picks up a new partner, Eddie Holt, who is a black cowboy who once worked with Buffalo Bill and his Wild West Show. Pike and Holt get jobs working a line cabin on the Bar J cattle ranch’s far perimeter. They get the jobs because no one else will take it because a vicious gang of rustlers has been working that area. Soon they met their closest neighbors, Philo Farley, a homesteader who served in the British Army, and his sister, Ann. All goes well for a while then a full-out range war between cattlemen, homesteaders, and rustlers erupts and finds Pike square in the middle of it.

*

First, Pike is well drawn as a character and a narrator. Also the places L’Amour talks about and the daily ranching tasks he describes are solid. You know instantly that the author knows what he is talking about. You believe. On the downside, the novel is only 150 pages and should have been much longer. The other characters (there seems to be about a hundred) are quick-drawn shadows and the main villain finally appears at the halfway mark. You also wonder why a couple other villains were even included. And events happen quickly. Too quickly. Didn’t believe the spark between Pike and Ann. L’Amour is one of the best-selling authors of all-time. He has a lean sparse style that reads well. But. I guess if I was recommending L’Amour to a first-time reader I wouldn’t tell them to start with this one. Then again, perhaps, L’Amour hasn’t changed at all. Maybe I have.

STRESS RELIEF
*

The aches and knots in my body had reached the point where I was having trouble sleeping. I decided it was time to schedule a massage appointment. I used to go regularly (about once a month or so). I went to the same massage therapist named Linda. Always felt better afterwords. Then Linda moved away. Went a couple times to her replacement but it wasn't the same. Tried a couple other therapists. One was okay but the other wasn't. At $60 an hour -- okay doesn't cut it. I pretty much stopped going.

*

The other day I decided it was time to try again. I went to the local Internet pages. Found a place not too far away (10 minutes drive time) that specialized in Tuina Chinese massage. I've always done Swedish (okay, I did deep tissue a couple of times and it nearly killed me.) The spa also advertised a free table shower for the first visit. No idea what that was. Anyway, I called and made an appointment.

*

I arrived. Spa was clean and neat. Always a good sign. I met Cindy who would be my therapist. (She weighed, I guess, between 90 to 100 pounds. This will be important later.) I went into the room and undressed. Wrapped the towel around me and laid face down as instructed. This was new. In all my Swedish massages, I began face-up. Cindy asked if I had any trouble spots. Shoulders and lower back, I replied. She began. She used her thumbs and palms more than I was used to but the knots began to pop. She also used her forearms. Felt good.

*

Then it got strange. At least for me. As she began kneading my lower back and hips, she climbed onto the table. Never had a therapist do that before. Then she was straddling me. Okay, now I was getting nervous. She worked on my back and butt for a while then she moved on top of me. I could feel her knees kneading my butt. Then she stood up and worked on my butt and higher with her feet and full body weight. The tension began to melt away. Soon after, she was down and had me roll over. Now, for the first time, I noticed a set of bars stretching across the room, over the table, near the ceiling. She must've been holding onto them as she stood on me. Anyway, she worked on my legs, hips, and chest then finished with a facial massage. I was in the zone. Felt terrific.

*

Cindy, while looking away, gave me a large towel to wrap myself in. After I did, I followed her to the Jacuzzi table shower room. There I discovered what a table shower was. I laid down face first in a large shower tub. I was rinsed with warm-hot water then lightly scrubbed with Dove soap and rinsed off. Then she turned me turn over. Nothing inappropriate occurred. But this was totally different than any massage I'd ever had before. Whoa. When I left, I felt rejuvenated. Knots and tension was gone. I think I'll be going to see Cindy again. Next month at the earliest. Can't afford $60 an hour plus tip too often.

*

P.S. -- When I talked to my nephew, Brian, about going to a Chinese massage spa, he made a joke and said, "No happy endings, Uncle Chris." I must be getting older or I stepped off the slang train at some point. I didn't get it. Then I did. Oh, geez. All I wanted was a massage to relieve the tension and knots in my body. I've never used the services of a "hooker" in my life and I don't intend to start now. Note to Bri-guy: my massage had a happy ending but not that happy ending. I'm still pure. Okay, I'm not pure but in that area ... ah, hell, forget this tangent.

WRITERS' STRIKE

*

Members of the Writers Guild have gone on strike and TV shows are shutting down production. (BTW, I hope the writers get what they're asking for.) In the meantime, TV programmers are going to fill the empty time slots with reality shows, game shows, and news programs. I've decided to create the Stires TV Network and listed below is our prime-time programs:

*

Monday:

8PM: I Love Lucy
8:30PM: The Dick Van Dyke Show
9PM: Cheers
9:30PM: Taxi
10PM: The Rockford Files

Tuesday:

8PM: Leave It to Beaver
830PM: The Andy Griffith Show
9PM: All in the Family
9:30PM: M*A*S*H
10PM: Magnum P.I.

Wednesday:

8PM: Little House on the Prairie
9PM: Grey’s Anatomy

10PM: House M.D.

Thursday:

8PM: The Mary Tyler Moore Show
830PM: Bewitched
9PM: Night Court
9:30PM: Barney Miller
10PM: L.A. Law

Friday:

8PM: Star Trek: The Next Generation
9PM: The X-Files
10PM: Firefly

Saturday:

8PM: Have Gun, Will Travel
830PM: Gunsmoke
930PM: Alfred Hitchcock Presents

10PM: Law & Order

Sunday:

7PM: 60 Minutes
8PM: The Wonderful World of Disney
9PM: Colombo Movie

*

(I stayed with network programming that's why Sex & the City, The Sopranos, and Deadwood aren't listed.)

OBSERVATION
*

The trouble with political jokes is that they sometimes get elected.

OH, LUCKY ME!!!!

$

I can't believe my good fortune. I received not one but two emails today informing me that I had won one million dollars pounds sterling in two separate UK lotteries. What are the odds? I have to be the luckiest bozo in the world. Gosh darn, how will I spend my new found wealth? My head is spinning. All I have to do to reply email with the following information:

$

To file for your claim, please contact our fiduciary agent Mr. Roy Phil (it's Dr. Jones Walker at the other lottery) with the feed Verification/Fund Release Form Below :

$

1.Full Name:

2.Full Address:

3.Marital Status:

4.Occupation:

5.Age:

6.Sex:

7.Nationality:

8.Country Of Residence:

9.Telephone Number:

$

Wow ... now I can put in a real offer for the Golden Gate Bridge to that nice realtor.

A RELATIVE SENT THIS TO ME

STATUE OF LIBERTY

(look closely ... those are soldiers lined up)

JUST WONDERING...

*

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

*

Why do they call it "lipstick" if you can still move your lips?

*

Why do doctors call what they do "practice"?

KISSING ... Better
*

On MSN, there's an article on how to improve your kissing technique (http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=8955&TrackingID=516311&BannerID=544657&menuid=6&GT1=10582). Here are their suggestions:

*

1) Lean to the right (if I'm a liberal can I lean to the left?)

2) Close your eyes (that way you can imagine you're with someone else because that's what your partner is probably doing ... hopefully you have a partner)

3) Get your hands in to the action (depending on where your hands go you'll either get slapped, a restraining order, or lucky {insert here Public Service message about Safe Sex practices})

4) Pause before you pucker (yes, always start your little timer before kissing)

5) Chuck your gum (when I was little I was taught that sharing was polite ... all these contradictions in life are confusing.)

6) No brushstrokes (okay, but how else to you get the food crumbs from dinner off your partner's face except with your tongue?)

100 Movies, 100 Quotes, 100 Numbers

No Comment on my End

What a week so far ...

oh, yeah, Happy Halloween!

SOME DAYS IT JUST DOESN'T PAY TO GET OUT OF BED

$

$

$

GONE AND STILL MAKING MONEY

$

Forbes has released their list of the top-earning deceased celebs. Geez, these folks are making more money in the afterlife in one year than I'll make in my entire life. You can read the story at http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/Investing/Forbes/TopEarningDeadCelebrities.aspx

$

The Top Ten Deceased Money-makers are:

1) Elvis

2) Lennon

3) Charles Schutz

4) George Harrison

5) Albert Einstein (okay, how'd he get on the list?)

6) Andy Warhol

7) Dr. Seuss

8) Tupac Shakur

9) Marilyn Monroe

10) Steve McQueen

MR. BROOKS
*

A serial killer movie that tries to be different. Kevin Costner play Earl Brooks, a Northwest businessman who is very successful and has just won a prestigious businessman of the year award. He is also a serial murderer who the police have named the Thumbprint Killer. Costner does well as a man who keeps his true face hidden from all including his family. William Hurt plays Costner’s imaginary and bloodthirsty alter ego. Earl doesn’t want to kill anymore (he attends AA meetings and announces he has an “addiction.”) Marshall wants the thrill and rush. Their by-play is jarring at first but then the film makes it work. Demi Moore plays the homicide detective tracking him and Dane Cook is a witness who is different than Earl Brooks thought. There are some surprising twists and turns in the storyline but the resolution feels lacking. Worth a look if you like suspense films. A rental as they say, not a purchase.

*

Question: Why does Hollywood seem to feel that sex and nudity equals death? No answer. Just wondering.

*

I like Costner. I think he’s underrated as an actor. I think he usually picks interesting projects. According to IMDb, and I don’t agree with this ranking (I like five of the ten), but his top-ten rated films are:

THE UNTOUCHABLES

JFK

DANCES WITH WOLVES

MR. BROOKS

FIELD OF DREAMS

OPEN RANGE

TESTAMENT

THIRTEEN DAYS

FRANCES
A PERFECT WORLD

*

Farther down the list are: SILVERADO, BULL DURHAM, NO WAY OUT, TIN CUP, THE GUARDIAN and still further down are: THE BODYGUARD, WATERWORLD, and THE POSTMAN. Nice body of work. Other actors should do as well.

The Dark Knight is Coming

MORE PHOTOS FROM SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

(Sleep well. May your Job be over soon.)

FIRES AND WIND

*

All around me, in every direction, smoke blankets the horizon. I live in Riverside. No fires in my immediate area but not far away. The folks who live in Arrowhead survived the 2003 fire but now they are fighting another devastating blaze. The Santiago-Silverado Canyon fire is in an area of Orange County where I grew up. The 15-215 freeways heading north through the Cajon Pass toward the High Desert and Las Vegas have been closed at various times because of fire and wind. The pictures from San Diego, Malibu, and other locations have been heartbreaking. Tomorrow I'm going to the Red Cross to donate blood. Not sure what else to do. I'll think of something though.

BORAT

(Bore-ing-rats)

*

Borat (short version of title) premiered on HBO last night. I decided to check it having missed it in the theatres and on DVD. IMBd rates it at 7.7 out of ten. It grossed somewhere north of 130,000,000 dollars during its theatre run. I knew the humor would be lame and politically incorrect. Not a problem. I kicked back and watched.

*

I watched for 30 minutes. After Borat made the remarks about the Iraq war to the rodeo crowd, I wondered why I was watching this crap. I get political satire but nothing in the previous half-hour was funny to me. I mean nothing. I guess that somewhere along the line I must've stepped off the humor train. I didn't like 40-Year-Old Virgin or Knocked-Up either. Can't stand Adam Sandler or Jim Carreymovies . I did enjoy Wild Hogs, which was dorky, however.

*

Comedies I like: Galaxy Quest, As Good As It Gets, American President, Notting Hill, Some Like It Hot, and just about anything with Abbott & Costello.

The Terminal

I just like this movie. "America is Closed." That line has taken on more meaning lately.

30 Days Of Night

This looks like it might be creepy.

Dred
The latest issue is now on-line
*

Check it out at http://www.dredtales.com/. Includes my movie reviews of Distrubia and The Host and my Top Ten Dred-filled movies and a poll to create the First Top Ten Dred-Filled movies from our readers. {Insert Renfield laugh here}

Flashback to my Youth

DEADWOOD IS DEAD

*

It appears that HBO has decided not to conclude Deadwood with two (or even one) movie. Now I have to decided whether or not to cancel my subscription to Home Box Office. They don't have any cool series left that I'm interested in. To read more go to : http://www.cinematical.com/2007/10/02/deadwood-actors-respond-with-sadness-to-cinematicals-story/

DISAPPEARING ACTS

*

MSNBC is predicting that ten businesses and services will vanish in the next ten years. A couple I didn't know were still around now.

1) Record stores

more and more folks are buying on-line

2) Camera film manufacturing and development

digital has taken over

3) Crop dusters

crops still need to be sprayed for bugs and stuff -- don't know about this one

4) Gay bars

segregation is ending

5) Newspapers

cable television and on-line news

6) Pay phones

can't find any of these now

7) Used book stores

on-line is faster

8) Piggy banks

hard to put a debit card in a piggy

9) Telemarketing

Yeah!

10) Coin-operated arcades
sorry -- can't play pinball on a computer

INDY SCOOP

*

An Oklahoma newspaper is reporting the following plot info on the new Indiana Jones movie as told to them by an extra in the film: 1. The story concerns a search by Indy and the Soviet army for a priceless skull made of crystal, hidden in the jungles of South America; 2. Indy is taken hostage by the Russians who threaten to kill his ex-girlfriend and mother of his son if he doesn't cooperate; 3. One of the Russians is played by Cate Blanchett who questions Indy in the movie.

*

The New York Post is reporting that Steven Spielberg is P.O.ed about the leak. I'm gonna see the movie anyway.

One of My All-Time Favorite TV Series

NEW RULE FROM GEORGE CARLIN

*

If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

*

It works for me. :)

REFERRALS

*

Sometimes I check the "By Referrals" program on the SiteMeter to see how folks ended up at my Blog. Sometimes it makes sense, sometimes it's funny and sometimes it's head-scratching time while muttering "Huh?"

*

Here's a few topics that people wrote in the subject line on Google who referred them to me along with others. No comments, just the Google topic:

The most, of late, have been my name, the movie 3:10 to Yuma, and western movie endings.

The others are punched in one time:

*

1) Kate Walsh

2) Charles Bronson

3) Pernell Roberts

4) Christian Bale

5) Robert Conrad

6) Marry Our Daughters

7) "I want to enter my house justified." (Note: a line from Peckinpah's Ride the High Country.)
8) Sean Connery nude

9) Sean Connery spanking

10) wearing tight leather pants

11) wearing only a poncho

*

Have a nice day. I'm going to take some more NyQil.

*

Oh, what the heck. Let's show another picture of Kate Walsh from Grey's Anatomy.

MarryOurDaughter.com

*

Okay, get sick with the flu for a couple of days and what happens? One, you write a dumb blog (see below as an example) and you miss the latest news. O.J. Simpson gets busted in Las Vegas for kidnapping and armed robbery, the Fed lower interest rates, and a guy puts up a web-site called MarryOurDaughter. (See story: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20781129/site/newsweek/?GT1=10357)

*

On MOD, folks listed their daughters as prospects for an arranged marriage in the Biblical tradition. Each young woman had a price tag (excuse me, dowry, that was to be paid to the parents) and most (if not all) were under sixteen years of age. Okay, the whole thing was a hoax but it brought to light the fact that several states allow marriage under the age of sixteen -- Alabama, Minnesota, Missouri, Utah, and New Hampshire (NH's minimum age is 13). Mississippi and South Carolina allow girls but not boys to marry under sixteen. At least, I think that was the reason they put up the blog.

*

First -- the blog appears to be shut down. Yeah, I was curious so I Googled it. Second -- the blog was only up for a little more than a week. How did so many people find out about it so quickly? Put up a blog and a week later it's a MSNBC and Newsweek cover story. Third -- and this is the scariest part (okay, it's all scary). The blog had 60 million hits. What do you type into the subject line of Google to find something like this site?

*

Finally, at my age and all I've been through, why do "some" people and the crap they do still amaze me?

E.W. & Britney -- Oh, the Horror
and THE RANT
*

I opened my mailbox and there was my weekly issue of EW. I nearly screamed.

*

Okay, here goes. My rant: I want to know about the latest movie releases, television shows, and books. Occasionally I even read about the latest music releases. I enjoy Stephen King's musings. I don't give a damn about what Britney, Lindsay, Paris, and Nicole are up to and I hate the fact that I know who they are. I don't care that Tom Cruise and John Travolta are members of Scientology (however you spell it); O'Donnell left The View; and Brad and Angelina are whatever this week. I don't want to read, see, or hear about this crap. I don't want to see it on the evening news or heard about it on my car's news radio station. But it seems I can't get away from it. So I guess I need to go with the flow.

*

Did ya hear ... Britney Spears got irritated at a paparazzi who wasn't taking her picture and threw a copy of The Inheritance by Christopher Stires at the man. She wasn't wearing underwear at the time.

*

Lindsay Lohan claimed she was only at the after-hours night club to pick up a copy of Rebel Nation by Christopher Stires from her rehab buddy. She wasn't wearing underwear at the time.

*

Paris Hilton saw a copy of To the Mountain of the Beast by Christopher Stires on a coffee table and tried to put in the DVD player. She wasn't wearing underwear at the time.

*

Christopher Stires was penalized for unsportsman-like conduct and whiney behavior. He wasn't wearing underwear at the time and his Levis were chafing him.

*

All done now. The soapbox is passed.

Private Practice-New Promo

Kate Walsh dancing naked in her new condo in the new ABC show "Private Practice."
After the video, check the links to my novels -- "Rebel Nation," "To the Mountain of the Beast," and "The Inheritance."

SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION

*

My article, "Firsts in Television," is up on the Bewildering Stories web-site (http://www.bewilderingstories.com/issue259/tv_firsts.html). It's a short article on the first time different events occurred in television broadcasting ranging from the first "live" broadcast of a news event (a fire in New York City in 1938) to the first viewer interactive broadcast (CSI: Crime Scene Investigation in 2001). Check it out. It's fun.

HALLOWEEN POLL

*

I decided to try something new. In honor of Halloween, I've posted a poll to ask what is the best scary movie of this decade. I selected the choices from a variety of sources. Basically it came down to my choices. I haven't seen all the films listed. Yet.