MORON JOKES

(replace the word "moron" with your favorite group to pick on)

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Two morons living in Oklahoma were talking, and one moron says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?'

The other moron turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?'

*

A moron pushes their BMW into a gas station. Tells the mechanic it died.

After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

Moron says, 'What's the story?'

He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'

Moron asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

*

A moron is out walking and comes to a river. Sees another moron on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' moron shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'

The second moron looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'

*

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the driver behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that the moron was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'

'NO!' the moron yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'

*

A moron was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was their turn. The moron rolled the dice and landed on Science & Nature. Their question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'

The moron thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'

*

A moron visiting a moron friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked what their names were.

The second moron responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

The first moron said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'

'HELLLOOOOOOO,' answered the second moron. 'They're watch dogs!