3 More Films from 2007

(and One TV Series from 2006)

*

Okay, between working and starting a new screenplay, I've fallen behind in my movie reviews. I've now seen three more 2007 releases.

Rendition has an intriguing storyline and some solid acting but I can't recommend it. Why? Although the movie has an "important" message to convey (and one that should be debated in the political arena), it is still a movie about torture. Shouldn't compare this film with the first Hostel but I did. Not interested in these kind of storylines for movies.

*30 Days of Night is my kind of movie usually. Creepy vampires (not the romantic kind of Bram Stroker or Anne Rice) take over an Alaskan town where the sun goes down and doesn't rise again for 30 days. Should have been fun. It wasn't. Three college students on my staff told me this movie scared them silly. As for me, it didn't. Wow, the Generation Gap is now behind me instead of in front of me. I'm now going to go cry into my pillow.

*

Death at a Funeral. British dark comedy. British -- yes. Dark -- yes. Comedy -- well, I didn't laugh or even chuckle. I smiled a couple times. Does that count?

*

Torchwood - Season One. British again. Science fiction TV series. I saw the first two episodes of its first season. It's a spin-off of the Doctor Who series (which I've never seen but now have in my Netflix queue). I was reminded in some ways of one of my all-time favorite series The X-Files. Did I like it? I ordered the entire DVD set and it should arrive within the week. Looking forward to it.

THE GOOD SHEPHERD

*

This movie has been on my "to-see" list for a while. Finally got around to it. It is the story of the forming of the C.I.A. seen through the eyes of one man Edward Wilson (played by Matt Damon) from the Agency's days as the OSS in World War Two through the Bay of Pigs disaster in 1961. It was directed by Robert DeNiro who also plays a small part in the all-star cast including Angelina Jolie, Alec Baldwin, Billy Crudup, Michael Gambon, and many others. It has the cinematic look of The Godfather.

*

Okay, let's get down to it. This three-hour movie feels like a three-hour movie. I have grown to hate the "shaky cam" which is prevalent in so many films lately but this movie might have benefited from it. I understand this wasn't supposed to be a spy movie like James Bond or Jason Bourne. It was supposed to be like the way it really was. Or is. But this was a drag. There were several interesting bits like the adversary relationship between Wilson and his KGB counterpart and the mystery of Wilson's father's suicide. Overall, however, this was a slow-moving story with no fleshed-out characters worth rooting for. Or against. DeNiro should've gone back and looked at The Godfather 's characters. This movie really needed a passionate character like Sonny Corleone or even Fredo.

80th Academy Awards This Sunday
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Hmmm… That means 79 Best Picture winners so far. I wondered how many of the Oscar winners I had in my much-too-large DVD collection. So I counted. I have twelve or roughly 15% of the Best Picture winners. They are:
*
CASABLANCA (1943)
One of my favorite movies of all time.
IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT (1967)
Bonnie & Clyde should have won.
THE GODFATHER (1972)
Yep, another all-time favorite.
THE STING (1973)
I like this popcorn Newman-Redford movie but American Graffiti should’ve won.
ROCKY (1976)
All the President’s Men or the still powerful and creepy Taxi Driver should’ve won.
DANCES WITH WOLVES (1990)
I like Kevin Costner and his film choices and I’m not apologizing for it.
THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (1991)
Very cool thriller.
UNFORGIVEN (1992)
Not in my Top Ten of westerns but very, very good.
FORREST GUMP (1994)
Shawshank Redemption should’ve won.
SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE (1998)
I like this movie but Saving Private Ryan (despite a soft center) should’ve won.
GLADIATOR (2000)
The appeal of this movie has faded for me.
LORD OF THE RINGS: RETURN OF THE KING (2003)
This trilogy is incredible from beginning to end.

WE OWN THE NIGHT
&
GONE BABY GONE

*

Two more 2007 films. Thrillers both. Night has a better storyline but Gone has intriguing characters and a solid Boston atmosphere. Despite terrific casts in both, these films are just okay. Nothing special in either. Perhaps if they’d combined the two then we would’ve had one really terrific movie. With Night, I had problems with Joaquin Phoenix’s character getting a “special” assignment with the police before going to the academy (hey, it may happen in real life but it sounds like a writer’s trick) and the director James Gray needs to study some old gangster and western movies to see how a gunfight should be staged. With Gone, the “surprise” ending is no surprise at all and quite boring. Michelle Monaghan has second building but she’s really just the sidekick to Casey Affleck. I bet there was more to her to the Dennis Lehane novel than ended up on the screen. Oh, well.

*

The next 2007 movies on my list are: No Reservations, American Gangster, and Michael Clayton.

5 Classic Movie Suggestions for Valentine's Day

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Casablanca with Bergman & Bogart

Friendly Persuasion with McGuire & Cooper

The Quiet Man with O'Hara & Wayne

Roman Holiday with Hepburn & Peck

Singin' in the Rain with Reynolds & Kelly

*

5 Newer Movie Suggestions for Valentine's Day

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The American President with Bening & Douglas

As Good as It Gets with Hunt & Nicholson

Notting Hill with Roberts & Grant

Shakespeare in Love with Paltrow & Fiennes

Shall We Dance? with Sarandon & Gere

MORE FROM 2007
*

The Brave One – Jodie Foster and Terrence Howard star in Neil Jordan’s film. The movie is the second vigilante-revenge story I’ve seen lately (the other was the dismal Death Sentence with Kevin Bacon). The actors are solid but this is just a well-dressed violent B-movie. Although it tries the movie lacks the ingredient that made you root for Bronson in Death Wish and Joe Don Baker in Walking Tall from a couple decades ago. But I figure it sold with the pitch “a woman turns Bronson on the streets of New York.” I vaguely remember an old drive-in movie (remember drive-ins) called Ms. 45 that had the same plot – that’s all I remember of that movie so it’s probably not very good. Anyway, The Bravo One could’ve been something but isn’t. Not recommended.
*
The Jane Austen Book Club – a romantic comedy-drama revolving around a group of women (and one guy) who are reading the six Austen novels and their lives are reflecting the stories in the novels. This is a popcorn movie – tasty and light but nothing memorable. I take that back, Maria Bello (The Cooler, History of Violence) stands out among this very talented group of actors. Anyway, nothing special here either but it’s a light easy-going movie.
*

The Super Tuesday Primary is Coming

Go Vote

Reprint:

Just One Vote

by

Paul Harvey
*

One voter in each precinct of the United States will determine the next president of the United States. One vote. That’s a big weapon you have there, Mister. In 1948, just one additional vote in each precinct would have elected Dewey. In 1960, one vote in each precinct in Illinois would have elected Nixon. One vote.

One morning in 1844, a grain miller from DeKalb County, Indiana, was walking toward his mill. It was Election Day, but he had work to do and did not intend to vote. Before he reached the mill, however, he was stopped by friends who persuaded him to go to the polls. As it happened, the candidate for whom he voted won a seat in the state legislature—by a margin of one vote. Now, when the Indiana Legislature convened, the man elected from DeKalb cast the deciding vote that sent Edward Allen Hennegan to the United States Senate. Then, in the Senate, when the question of statehood for Texas came up, there was a tie vote. But who do you suppose was presiding as president pro tempore? Hennegan. He cast the deciding vote from the chair. So, Texas was admitted to the union because a miller in DeKalb County, Indiana, went 10 minutes out of his way to cast...one vote.

More? Thomas Jefferson was elected president by one vote in the Electoral College. So was John Quincy Adams. One vote gave statehood to California, Idaho, Oregon, Texas and Washington. The Draft Act of World War II passed the House by one vote. Over 200 million Americans are eligible to vote this year. Less than half will. Plato said it: “The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men.”

So your vote is important. Historically, you use it...or you lose it. If you’re not sure for whom you should vote, turn to a newspaper you can trust. Because everything we’ve won in 10 wars at the point of a gun can be taken away one vote at a time.

Edmund Burke said it another way: “All that is necessary for the forces of evil to win in this world is for enough good men to do nothing.”

ROCKET SCIENCE

ANOTHER 2007 MOVIE

*

Rocket Science is a small film that has received a great deal of critical praise. The story is about a teenaged boy with a bad stutter who a teenaged girl convinces to join the school debate team. The movie has its moments but overall it didn't work for me. The biggest problem, among many, is that I never felt the "debates" had any weight. In the documentary Spellbound, I got caught up the contest -- the National Spelling competition was as important as the World Series, the Super Bowl, or a championship boxing match. The stakes and the competitors were clear. The chess movie, Searching for Bobby Fischer, is a great example. Rocket Science didn't come close and the characters didn't seem to grow or change.

* * *

I also saw Captain Blood (1935). This old swashbuckler with Errol Flynn, Olivia deHavilland, and Basil Rathbone was fun. Okay, it's corny at times and looks like the studio-bound film it is but it's enjoyable. It was Flynn and deHavilland's first film together and there is an obvious chemistry between the two. The cool sword duel between Flynn and Rathbone was filmed in Laguna Beach. (I've been to that beach.)

* * *

Grand Tour: Disaster in Time (1992) is with Jeff Daniels and is a low-budget affair. It's not a great movie but it's intriguing and watchable. The basic premise is that Daniels (owner of a bed-and-breakfast inn) discovers his guests are time-travelers from the future who are on a junket visiting great natural disasters. Fun stuff.

* * *

Croupier (1998) with Clive Owen is an anomoly. The noir story is just OK but the ending is terrific. The other thing that's cool is that Chandler set the standard for noir with his "a good man walking the mean streets" adage but Owen's character isn't a good man or, even, a bad man. He is a man who doesn't care. No matter what happens, that gene is missing from his character and that made the film different. An interesting rental.

(No reason for the Jennifer Connelly picture. Just cause.)

2007 Movies I want to Avoid

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There are Ten Best lists and Ten Worst lists. On the following list are ten films from 2007 that I have absolute no interest in and will, to the best of my abilities, avoid seeing:

+

Alvin and the Chipmunks

Fred Claus

The Hills Have Eyes 2

Hostel Part II

The Invasion

Lions for Lambs

Norbit

Reign Over Me

Transformers

Underdog

+

If someone thinks they can convince me to see one of the films on my list, give it your best shot.

SUNSHINE (2007)
*

Basic storyline: The Sun is dying and Earth is in permanent winter. The Icarus II, with a crew of eight, has been dispatched with a nuclear payload is re-ignite the Sun. They are Earth’s last hope. The first mission, dispatched seven years earlier, failed.
*
This film was directed by Danny Boyle (Trainspotting, 28 Days Later, Millions). It stars Cillian Murphy (28 Days Later, Batman Begins, Red Eye), Michelle Yeoh (Tomorrow Never Dies, Memoirs of a Geisha) and Chris Evans (Fantastic Four, Cellular).
*
The setting of this film looks real. I really liked the gold spacesuits. Too cool. The storyline has good moments and not so good but all are food for thought. This falls into the category of a thinking-person’s science fiction story and there are not very many of them. 2001: A Space Odyssey is the best example. I’d also include The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951). This is not your basic action-adventure sci-fi movie. Besides the science behind such a mission, the story also touches on God and free will. It also asks the question: when can an innocent be sacrificed for the safety of the majority? Not many films ask these hard questions.
*
I was riveted watching this story unfold. It is not boring. I liked all the questions they raised but I didn’t like all the answers they came up with. I liked the mystery behind the failure of the first mission and what the crew discovered that happened to the first crew but the story takes it one step further (I won’t spoil it for those who haven’t seen the film) and, for me, that hurt the film. As I have said many times, endings are hard.
*
Overall, see Sunshine. It is well worth your time.
*
Side Bar: When flying to the sun, never name your craft “Icarus.” If you don’t know why, read the Greek myth about Icarus.
Smart-Ass Side Bar: If I’d written the screenplay, I would have ignored all the science tech stuff about flying to the sun. I would’ve had my team fly at night.

A FEW OLDER MOVIES

*

Here I am trying to catch up on the 2007 movie releases and I slip in a few oldies. One I remember watching as a kid, one I vaguely remembered, and two I hadn't seen or didn't remember seeing at all.

*

Beau Geste with Gary Cooper. The oldest of the lot and the best. This is a last stand movie about the Foreign Legion filled with familiar character actors of the day. The acting is at times corny and/or wooden but, only in old Hollywood would they build an action-adventure film around a "gallant gesture." I liked it.

The Long Gray Line with Tyrone Power and Maureen O'Hara. Directed by John Ford with the usual Fordisms and cast of Ford regulars. I don't know why this is not mentioned with several other Ford treasures. This is a Hollywood version of a true story. It is about the life of Marty Maher who spent 50 years working at West Point. Not all of it works but there are several "lump-in-the-throat" moments. And Power and O'Hara have a solid chemistry together.






The Black Swan with Tyrone Power and Maureen O'Hara again. This is a pirate movie. Very cool at times and very, very creaky at others. Still, overall, not bad for a sixty year old film. Okay, not great either. I wanted to like it better than I did.







They Died with Their Boots On with Errol Flynn and Olvia deHavilland. This is the story of George Armstrong Custer. But not really. If anything in this movie is historically accurate it happened by accident. I love Flynn and deHavilland ... their Robin Hood is one of my favorite movies. Westerns are my favorite genre. This doesn't work. Only Flynn and deHavilland's scenes together are worthwhile. And, who would have guessed, based on his role as Crazy Horse in this movie, how talented an actor Anthony Quinn was. He kept his talent well-hidden in this part.

OSCAR TIME HAS ARRIVED

*

The Academy Award nominees for the 2007 movie season were announced today. They are:

*

BEST PICTURE

Atonement

Juno

Michael Clayton

No Country for Old Men

There Will Be Blood

BEST ACTOR

George Clooney, Michael Clayton

Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood

Johnny Depp, Sweeney Todd

Tommy Lee Jones, In the Valley of Elah

Viggo Mortensen, Eastern Promises

BEST ACTRESS

Cate Blanchett, Elizabeth: The Golden Age

Julie Christie, Away From Her

Marion Cotillard, La Vie en Rose

Laura Linney, The Savages

Ellen Page, Juno

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Casey Affleck, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

Javier Bardem, No Country for Old Men

Philip Seymour Hoffman, Charlie Wilson's War

Hal Holbrook, Into the Wild

Tom Wilkinson, Michael Clayton

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Cate Blanchett, I'm Not There

Ruby Dee, American Gangster

Saoirse Ronan, Atonement

Amy Ryan, Gone Baby Gone

Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton

BEST DIRECTOR

Paul Thomas Anderson, There Will Be Blood

Joel and Ethan Coen, No Country for Old Men

Tony Gilroy, Michael Clayton

Jason Reitman, Juno

Julian Schnabel, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

Brad Bird, Ratatouille

Diablo Cody, Juno

Tony Gilroy, Michael Clayton

Tamara Jenkins, The Savages

Nancy Oliver, Lars and the Real Girl

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

Paul Thomas Anderson, There Will Be Blood

Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, No Country for Old Men

Christopher Hampton, Atonement

Ronald Harwood, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

Sarah Polley, Away From Her

*

I've only seen Ratatouille and Eastern Promises. Hmmm ... am I out of touch or is the Academy? I did have a good friend tell me to go see No Country for Old Men. He said it was my kind of movie.

More Movies 2007

*

I've been catching more on more 2007 movie releases. I Am Legend. I liked it. Okay, the first 80% is terrific. Really cool. The last 20% was just OK. Didn't measure up to the rest of the film. Endings are tough. I recommend it however and I'll end up buying it when it comes to DVD. Waitress -- A pleasant surprise. I liked it, too. The camera likes Keri Russell and, whether willing or not, you find yourself rooting for her. Not a perfect movie (ending problems again) but definitely an enjoyable one. In fact, I'd say it moved 28 Weeks Later off my Top Ten list and takes its spot.

*

The next movies are OK but nothing great. Superbad -- amusing but the old school comedies in the same vein like Animal House and even Porky's were funnier. The Kingdom -- I think I know how they sold this. CSI goes to the Middle East. Intriguing premise but they needed a stronger story. Shoot 'em Up -- it was like popcorn. Enjoyable but basically forgettable. All I remember off the top of my head is Clive Owen eating carrots like Bugs Bunny and Paul Giamatti's cell-phone interruptions from his wife. Eastern Promises starts out well. Very engrossing but it just seems to peter out. I kept thinking toward the end that there has to be more to this but there wasn't.

*

Didn't like Death Sentence. I don't watch a vigilante-revenge movie for a lesson in morality. Geez, give me a break. And the worst film I saw in this bunch was Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. What a miserable experience and I love the first one.

*

Arriving today in my Netflix queue is Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and Sunshine. We'll see how they rate.

I Am Legend

Not a perfect movie but very good.

New Year: 2008

*

The new year has finally arrived. Please, please, be a better year than 2007.

*

I have made some resolutions and I will share:

1) Quit smoking (the patches have been purchased)

2) Lose 15-20 pounds (mostly around my chocolate-chip-cookie gut)

3) Go out on a first date sometime before the year ends (haven't been on a date since Annie and I separated then divorced)

4) Sell (or at least have optioned) a screenplay

5) Play Texas Hold 'em in a casino (but don't get hooked on gambling because those big casinos didn't become big casinos by letting people like me win)

MY TOP TEN OF 2007

*

There are still several films released in 2007 that I haven't seen yet --- I Am Legend, Juno, Enchanted, No Country for Old Men, There Will Be Blood, Eastern Promises -- but I doubt I'll see them before year's end. So below is my Top Ten Movies of the year that I did see. The top three I enjoyed so much that I picked up DVD copies of them. I'll probably end up with a couple others in my library, too. Anyway, here's my list with No. 1 being my favorite.

*

1) The Lookout. Crime thriller by Scott Frank. Well-done characters, solid storyline with Joseph-Gordon Levitt and Jeff Daniels. Levitt is a star high school hockey player. Life is wonderful and a bright future lays ahead of him. Then he's in a car accident that leaves him with brain damage and little prospects. He gets a job as a graveyard shift janitor at a local town bank and attempts to rebuild his life. No more story hints. This is a story that the less you know the better it is. See this one. It's cool. Jeff Daniels plays Levitt's blind roommate.

2) Live Free and Die Hard. Yep, Bruce Willis is back as cop John McClane and, despite being older, he is still neck-deep in high-tech bad guys and incredible stunts. Popcorn thriller that I just thoroughly enjoyed. Deadwood's Timothy Olyphant is the main bad guy.

3) Stardust. Fantasy adventure with Claire Danes, Michelle Pfeiffer, Robert De Niro and Charlie Cox as the noble Tristan. Not everything works as well as it should but this is fun. I especially liked Pfeiffer as the evil witch, De Niro as the sky pirate, and the ghosts of the murdered princes. Makes me smile just thinking about them.

4) 3:10 to Yuma. A remake of the old Glenn Ford western with Russell Crowe as the captured outlaw and Christian Bale as the poor rancher taking him to jail. Pretty damn good (except for part of the end but the original stumbled there, too.) This is the first Crowe movie I've liked since L.A. Confidential.

5) Distrubia. A spin on the Hitchcock Rear Window storyline with Shia LaBeouf as a high school kid on home arrest who, while watching his neighbors, discovers one (the always reliable David Morse) may be up to no good. Not a classic like the Hitchcock movie with James Stewart and Grace Kelly but good.

The second half of my top ten are:

6) Ratatouille.

7) The Bourne Ultimatum.

8) Breach.

9) Wild Hogs.

10) 28 Weeks Later.

I know. A strange group of movies but I recommend them all.

Louis Armstrong - What A Wonderful World

SHADE
#

Sometimes I stumble across a movie that I hadn’t heard of that turns out to be a pretty decent little film. Shade (2003) was released in a few theatres then went to cable and now DVD. I am surprised that it didn’t receive a wider release and more press.
*
The story centers around three grifters played by Stuart Townsend (a master card mechanic), Gabriel Byrne, and Thandie Newton. They used to be partners in the con-game racket until they had a falling out. They have reunited to take down the reigning king of poker players (and card mechanics) the “Dean” Stevens played, very coolly, by Sylvester Stallone, who plans on retiring after this final game.
*
The less you know going into the movie the better. It is part young talented newcomer wants to beat the old pro and part how do con artists work their trade storylines. It was written and directed by first-timer Damian Nieman who is a card magician. In supporting roles many well-known faces pop up such as Jamie Foxx, Michael Dorn, Bo Hopkins, Hal Holbrook, and the lovely Melanie Griffith as the “Dean” Stevens’ love interest. There are several twists and turns in the story and I’ll have to say a few caught me by surprise. I liked that. Especially when I usually spot the “big” surprise coming from a mile off or the “twist” turns out to be a really lame surprise like in The Usual Suspects or Unbreakable.
*
If you like film noir and films like The Hustler, The Sting, Big Hand for a Little Lady, and Paper Moon, check this movie out. You’ll enjoy the experience. P.S. -- "Shade" is the term for a diversion that focuses people in another direction other than looking at the con artist.

My Referral Check and Ms. Jamie Lee Curtis

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Every once in a while I check the referral option to see how folks are ending up on my blog. Most of the visitors are from the U.S. but I've also had folks recently from Argentina, France, Germany, Mexico, the Netherlands, Spain, and the U.K. Welcome. My latest check found that people are stopping by to check out pieces I've written about:

Christmas Story

Deadwood

Louis L'Amour's Hanging Woman Creek (a longer review)

Live Free and Die Hard (a short review)

Maureen O'Hara

Tom Selleck westerns

James Stewart westerns

Kate Walsh

but an usual amount (quite a few actually) were people (okay, it was probably all guys) looking for info about Jamie Lee Curtis .... hmmm ... okay, guys, below are a couple pictures of Ms. Curtis. After you check them out, please click on the link to my novels and check them out. A sale or two would be nice for providing this service.

Some Things I've Learned

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Some things I’ve learned in life so far:
*
As a writer, I’ve learned if you steal from one writer it’s plagiarism but if you steal from a buncha writers at the same time it’s homage.
*
I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
*
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just self-centered jerks.
*
I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.
*
I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
*
I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
*
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
*
I've learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.
*
I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.
*
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are gone much too soon and the real pains in the ass are permanent.

{If you're wondering, I stole this list. Except the first one.}

(The picture above of Jennifer Connelly has absolutely nothing to do with this post except I watched one of my favorite movies the other night and she is one of the stars. If you haven’t seen The Rocketeer, check out it. It does what “fun” movies are supposed to do but rarely do. Plus Ms. C is in it.)

JOKE TIME

*

Two alien scientists in space are scanning Planet Earth.

First alien: "It appears that the dominant life-forms on this planet have developed satellite-based weapons."

Second alien: "Should we be worried? Are they an emerging intelligence?"

"I don't think so," replies the first. "They have the weapons aimed at themselves."

Excerpt from

Rebel Nation

by Christopher Stires

(available from http://www.zumayapublications.com/ and http://www.amazon.com/)

*

McKenna Alexander watched, stunned, powerless, as the CS marshal hustled her handcuffed attorney from the judge's chamber.
“Damnation,” the judge growled. He pressed a handful of yellow tissues to his bleeding nose and tilted his head back. “Give me a moment, people.”
As McKenna sat with the others in the office, she counted the crimson periods dotting the judge’s crisp white shirt. Four. No, five. Blood had also dripped onto the judge’s striped bow tie. Oh, God. She had been confident that the charges against her would be dismissed; absolute in her vindication. Had been. Until one minute ago. Now, however, the only question left unanswered was – how much jail time would she receive before she was run out of the country?
“Excuse me,” the judge said, rising awkwardly from his black-leather chair. He edged his head further back and pinched the nostrils harder. Then he walked into the office bathroom. The dark walnut door remained open.
From the hall corridor, a second marshal stepped inside.
All in the chamber were quiet.
McKenna twisted the delicate gold chain on her wrist. She should have accepted the NBC anchor job. Landry had offered the network position twice. He had flattered her unmercifully with the proposals each time. Not only, he’d said in his coarse Texas drawl, would she be the first female anchor on any of the television networks in the South but, at thirty-four, she would also be the youngest. The ratings for the network evening news were up and, even the suits in New York, credited her with the increase. The latest viewer surveys showed that people liked and, more importantly, trusted her. Plus, she had proven herself time and time again with the hard news stories and interviews she delivered.
She’d noted that Landry had tactfully avoided the disasters she had been involved with. He also didn’t mention all the mail the network had received when he first brought her to Richmond four years ago. It was bad enough, most of the letters and e-mail read, that the network was owned by Yankees. They could live with that since they had to but they definitely didn’t want some blonde Yankee bitch telling them the news each night. If it hadn’t been for Cullen’s encouragement, she didn’t know whether or not she would have survived the first year.
She said no to the anchor position. Both times. She told Landry she loved Richmond, she had made her home here after all, and the city on the James River was the Confederate nation’s capitol, and this was where national policy and agenda were decided, but Richmond was not the entire Confederacy and she enjoyed living out of a duffel bag and not knowing in which of the thirteen states she would be each week. On Monday she could be in Tennessee and by Friday in the Carolinas and the following Tuesday in New Mexico. She would miss the road and the adventure. And she hated the idea of being locked behind a desk introducing other reporters who would be doing the assignments she wanted.
This morning that decision was moot.
The Confederate Attorney General had decided that she did not want McKenna covering any news stories. Even events like the cotton harvest in the Texas Panhandle and fishing conditions in the Louisiana Bayou were too much for her. She wanted McKenna a vague memory.
But McKenna would not go gently. Not for the Attorney General, not for anyone.

*

from the 5-Star reviews at Amazon:

*

"Awesome read! Great details and world building! ... If you've ever even toyed with the idea of reading alternate history, this book is for you!"

*

"...delivers from the very beginning ... a thumping good read."

*

"...held my interest until the very last page... a good mystery."

*

"Just when I thought the theme of the South winning the Civil War had been done to death this author proves me wrong."

*

"...compelling book. From its first page..."

As Time Goes By

LIVE FREE or DIE HARD

*

Finally got to see the fourth Die Hard movie. Over-the-top? Yes. Bruce Willis still cool as Detective John McClane? Yes. They blow stuff up real cool? Of course. Better villain than Alan Rickman in DH1? Well, no. Hans Gruber is one of my favorite movie bad guys of all time. Timothy Olyphant of Deadwood is just okay.

How would I sum up Die Hard 4?

*

Yippee-ki-yay!

Don't be shy, tell me what you really think...

*

MORON JOKES

(replace the word "moron" with your favorite group to pick on)

*

Two morons living in Oklahoma were talking, and one moron says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?'

The other moron turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?'

*

A moron pushes their BMW into a gas station. Tells the mechanic it died.

After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

Moron says, 'What's the story?'

He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'

Moron asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

*

A moron is out walking and comes to a river. Sees another moron on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' moron shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'

The second moron looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'

*

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the driver behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that the moron was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'

'NO!' the moron yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'

*

A moron was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was their turn. The moron rolled the dice and landed on Science & Nature. Their question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'

The moron thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'

*

A moron visiting a moron friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked what their names were.

The second moron responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

The first moron said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'

'HELLLOOOOOOO,' answered the second moron. 'They're watch dogs!

HANGING WOMAN CREEK (1964)
by
Louis L’Amour
*
A Review
*

When I was younger, Louis L’Amour was one of my favorite writers. But he dropped off the Top Ten list quite a while ago. I discovered writers like William Goldman, Larry McMurtry, and Stephen King who far surpassed him in style, characterization, and plot. I also read more in my younger days, too. Had more time. I still love a good novel though. A good, compelling novel with cool style and solid characters is better than a movie and I love movies. Anyway, my own writing is struggling at the moment (to say the least) and, after I finished my day-off chores I decided to read something. Anything. But I wanted to read. (I had one more item on my day-off something-fun list. See blog below for that adventure.) I went to a nearby used book store and found myself in the western section. I bought Hanging Woman Creek. I didn’t recall having read it before.

*

Barnabas “Pronto” Pike is a foot-loose cowboy who likes to get into fistfights for fun. Winter is coming on and Pike doesn’t have a job. He picks up a new partner, Eddie Holt, who is a black cowboy who once worked with Buffalo Bill and his Wild West Show. Pike and Holt get jobs working a line cabin on the Bar J cattle ranch’s far perimeter. They get the jobs because no one else will take it because a vicious gang of rustlers has been working that area. Soon they met their closest neighbors, Philo Farley, a homesteader who served in the British Army, and his sister, Ann. All goes well for a while then a full-out range war between cattlemen, homesteaders, and rustlers erupts and finds Pike square in the middle of it.

*

First, Pike is well drawn as a character and a narrator. Also the places L’Amour talks about and the daily ranching tasks he describes are solid. You know instantly that the author knows what he is talking about. You believe. On the downside, the novel is only 150 pages and should have been much longer. The other characters (there seems to be about a hundred) are quick-drawn shadows and the main villain finally appears at the halfway mark. You also wonder why a couple other villains were even included. And events happen quickly. Too quickly. Didn’t believe the spark between Pike and Ann. L’Amour is one of the best-selling authors of all-time. He has a lean sparse style that reads well. But. I guess if I was recommending L’Amour to a first-time reader I wouldn’t tell them to start with this one. Then again, perhaps, L’Amour hasn’t changed at all. Maybe I have.

STRESS RELIEF
*

The aches and knots in my body had reached the point where I was having trouble sleeping. I decided it was time to schedule a massage appointment. I used to go regularly (about once a month or so). I went to the same massage therapist named Linda. Always felt better afterwords. Then Linda moved away. Went a couple times to her replacement but it wasn't the same. Tried a couple other therapists. One was okay but the other wasn't. At $60 an hour -- okay doesn't cut it. I pretty much stopped going.

*

The other day I decided it was time to try again. I went to the local Internet pages. Found a place not too far away (10 minutes drive time) that specialized in Tuina Chinese massage. I've always done Swedish (okay, I did deep tissue a couple of times and it nearly killed me.) The spa also advertised a free table shower for the first visit. No idea what that was. Anyway, I called and made an appointment.

*

I arrived. Spa was clean and neat. Always a good sign. I met Cindy who would be my therapist. (She weighed, I guess, between 90 to 100 pounds. This will be important later.) I went into the room and undressed. Wrapped the towel around me and laid face down as instructed. This was new. In all my Swedish massages, I began face-up. Cindy asked if I had any trouble spots. Shoulders and lower back, I replied. She began. She used her thumbs and palms more than I was used to but the knots began to pop. She also used her forearms. Felt good.

*

Then it got strange. At least for me. As she began kneading my lower back and hips, she climbed onto the table. Never had a therapist do that before. Then she was straddling me. Okay, now I was getting nervous. She worked on my back and butt for a while then she moved on top of me. I could feel her knees kneading my butt. Then she stood up and worked on my butt and higher with her feet and full body weight. The tension began to melt away. Soon after, she was down and had me roll over. Now, for the first time, I noticed a set of bars stretching across the room, over the table, near the ceiling. She must've been holding onto them as she stood on me. Anyway, she worked on my legs, hips, and chest then finished with a facial massage. I was in the zone. Felt terrific.

*

Cindy, while looking away, gave me a large towel to wrap myself in. After I did, I followed her to the Jacuzzi table shower room. There I discovered what a table shower was. I laid down face first in a large shower tub. I was rinsed with warm-hot water then lightly scrubbed with Dove soap and rinsed off. Then she turned me turn over. Nothing inappropriate occurred. But this was totally different than any massage I'd ever had before. Whoa. When I left, I felt rejuvenated. Knots and tension was gone. I think I'll be going to see Cindy again. Next month at the earliest. Can't afford $60 an hour plus tip too often.

*

P.S. -- When I talked to my nephew, Brian, about going to a Chinese massage spa, he made a joke and said, "No happy endings, Uncle Chris." I must be getting older or I stepped off the slang train at some point. I didn't get it. Then I did. Oh, geez. All I wanted was a massage to relieve the tension and knots in my body. I've never used the services of a "hooker" in my life and I don't intend to start now. Note to Bri-guy: my massage had a happy ending but not that happy ending. I'm still pure. Okay, I'm not pure but in that area ... ah, hell, forget this tangent.

WRITERS' STRIKE

*

Members of the Writers Guild have gone on strike and TV shows are shutting down production. (BTW, I hope the writers get what they're asking for.) In the meantime, TV programmers are going to fill the empty time slots with reality shows, game shows, and news programs. I've decided to create the Stires TV Network and listed below is our prime-time programs:

*

Monday:

8PM: I Love Lucy
8:30PM: The Dick Van Dyke Show
9PM: Cheers
9:30PM: Taxi
10PM: The Rockford Files

Tuesday:

8PM: Leave It to Beaver
830PM: The Andy Griffith Show
9PM: All in the Family
9:30PM: M*A*S*H
10PM: Magnum P.I.

Wednesday:

8PM: Little House on the Prairie
9PM: Grey’s Anatomy

10PM: House M.D.

Thursday:

8PM: The Mary Tyler Moore Show
830PM: Bewitched
9PM: Night Court
9:30PM: Barney Miller
10PM: L.A. Law

Friday:

8PM: Star Trek: The Next Generation
9PM: The X-Files
10PM: Firefly

Saturday:

8PM: Have Gun, Will Travel
830PM: Gunsmoke
930PM: Alfred Hitchcock Presents

10PM: Law & Order

Sunday:

7PM: 60 Minutes
8PM: The Wonderful World of Disney
9PM: Colombo Movie

*

(I stayed with network programming that's why Sex & the City, The Sopranos, and Deadwood aren't listed.)

OBSERVATION
*

The trouble with political jokes is that they sometimes get elected.

OH, LUCKY ME!!!!

$

I can't believe my good fortune. I received not one but two emails today informing me that I had won one million dollars pounds sterling in two separate UK lotteries. What are the odds? I have to be the luckiest bozo in the world. Gosh darn, how will I spend my new found wealth? My head is spinning. All I have to do to reply email with the following information:

$

To file for your claim, please contact our fiduciary agent Mr. Roy Phil (it's Dr. Jones Walker at the other lottery) with the feed Verification/Fund Release Form Below :

$

1.Full Name:

2.Full Address:

3.Marital Status:

4.Occupation:

5.Age:

6.Sex:

7.Nationality:

8.Country Of Residence:

9.Telephone Number:

$

Wow ... now I can put in a real offer for the Golden Gate Bridge to that nice realtor.

A RELATIVE SENT THIS TO ME

STATUE OF LIBERTY

(look closely ... those are soldiers lined up)

JUST WONDERING...

*

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

*

Why do they call it "lipstick" if you can still move your lips?

*

Why do doctors call what they do "practice"?

KISSING ... Better
*

On MSN, there's an article on how to improve your kissing technique (http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=8955&TrackingID=516311&BannerID=544657&menuid=6&GT1=10582). Here are their suggestions:

*

1) Lean to the right (if I'm a liberal can I lean to the left?)

2) Close your eyes (that way you can imagine you're with someone else because that's what your partner is probably doing ... hopefully you have a partner)

3) Get your hands in to the action (depending on where your hands go you'll either get slapped, a restraining order, or lucky {insert here Public Service message about Safe Sex practices})

4) Pause before you pucker (yes, always start your little timer before kissing)

5) Chuck your gum (when I was little I was taught that sharing was polite ... all these contradictions in life are confusing.)

6) No brushstrokes (okay, but how else to you get the food crumbs from dinner off your partner's face except with your tongue?)

100 Movies, 100 Quotes, 100 Numbers

No Comment on my End

What a week so far ...

oh, yeah, Happy Halloween!