OVER AT THE OL' AMAZON SITE

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I'm surfing the net. Checked out some movie reviews, saw what Dink and Howard are writing about on their blogs, played a little computer Texas Hold 'em, then cruised over to the Amazon site. I was checking out the new Crichton. I don't know why because I've never read any Crichton novels but I was. Then I checked my own name. For Rebel Nation I noted that it was listed as Top Seller #1,149,514. I have no idea what that means. None whatsoever.

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I just started reading M.D. Benoit's novel Metered Space. Pretty cool and trippy opening. A private detective, Jack Meter, is on a major bender after the death of his beloved Annie. Some aliens (yeah, aliens) beam him up and dry him out. They need his detective expertise. I think this is one novel I'll finish. Now, if I can just find some time to read. But that's another story. A long boring story.

Mark It in the TV Guide

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When I was younger, my brother and I used to mark TV shows in the Guide that we really wanted to watch. Click on the link below and you'll see one of my favorites. I think I was in junior high.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osKE2kuRDzs

(Yes, I'm still playing with the computer/cable hook-up.)

BOND TRIVIA

Date: October 21, 1954. On CBS-TV's Climax Mystery Theater will be the live world premiere of Ian Fleming's Casino Royale. Barry Nelson stars as CIA agent Jimmy Bond. Guest stars are Linda Christian and Peter Lorre as Le Chiffre.

"What're ya thinkin', Wyatt?"
"One-seventh of your entire life is spent on Tuesday."
"You really need to get out more."

WELCOME TO THE 21st CENTURY

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It's been a little while since I blogged. A lotta time at work lately but the biggest issue was my little, ol' computer. Y'see, I've been on "dial-up" all this time. I know I had the Flintstones Internet service. Seemed fine for a long, long time. Then ... well, now, I have DSL with my cable company. Yep, the Jetsons Internet service. At least to me it is. Also dial-up and cable were the only two choices in my area. The new hook-up is amazing. I instantly go to new sites and I can finally watch movie trailers and stupid stuff on YouTube. I've been playing. New post soon.

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(The above picture of the San Juan Mission has nothing to do with anything. I just liked the photo.)

Cool. Well, I hope it is. I saw my first Bond films -- a double feature of Thunderball and From Russia with Love -- when I was in junior high and we were living in Richardson, a suburb of Dallas. Pierce Bronsan was good but Sean Connery is the best Bond. I have high hopes for this re-imagining of the 007 legend with Daniel Craig. It worked for Batman with Batman Begins. We'll know in a week or so, won't we?

AMERICA HAS SPOKEN

(below is an editorial by me)

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The vote counting is done (except in a couple of states) and the Democrats are in control of the House for the first time in 12-plus years. The Senate appears headed for even-steven. What does this mean? President Bush will not be able to push his agenda through the House. His proposals will be voted down. The bills the House approves will be vetoed by the President and the Democrats will not be able to gather a two-thirds majority to override the veto. That means gridlock in D.C. Nothing will happen unless the groups can work together. Oh, yeah, the American voters have spoken. I wonder if they understand that in D.C. (Okay, the only bill that will be approved will be some $100-billion project that won't work but will make millionaires of a few well-connected folks. Cynical, ain't I?)

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming for the following message:

GO

VOTE

Then come home and watch Jimmy Stewart in "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington."

SUNDAY MORNING
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My day off. Slept in. (Yeah, woke up at 7 instead of the usual 4AM.) Bills paid. Grocery shopping done and food put away. Clothes in dryer. Put gas in the Tribute. (Wow, it was only $2.19 per gallon!) Dropped bills in the mail at the post office. Put new collar on Sabrina. (The cat is currently mad at me.) Still need to go and get my hair cut. May stop by Best Buy and look at the new HD wide screen TVs. (Got my quarterly bonus and instead of paying on the credit cards or putting it in the savings, I may splurge for a change. I hate being responsible all the time.)

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Yesterday, I finished what started out as a blog entry. I was tracking down “firsts” in TV and movies. The first broadcast, the first network series, the first wardrobe malfunction, and stuff like that. Found some interesting stuff. The first time the phrase “son-of-a-bitch” was uttered on network television was on an episode of M*AS*H. Anyway, the blog entry became a nonfiction article called “A Short List of Firsts in Television” (approximately 2000 words) and is in the mail to a hopefully appreciative editor. We’ll see what happens.

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Kicked it for a little while. Rented Mission Impossible 3 and An American Haunting. Don’t recommend either one. MI3 is a painless action flick but nothing special except that Philip Seymour Hoffman and Ving Rhames are cool. As for Mr. Cruise, as time goes by I like him less and less. He just doesn’t make movies that I like. AAH should have been a cool little ghost movie. Unfortunately it wasn’t. And the ending fell so flat that I was shaking my head. I know it’s hard to come up with an ending that feels inevitable but not predictable but, at least, try.

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On November 5th:
In 1911, western star Roy Rogers is born.
In 1935, Parker Brothers released Monopoly.
In 1941, singer Art Garfunkel is born.
In 1951, I Love Lucy premiered on TV.
In 1965, actress Famke Janssen is born. (Picture above of X-Men star.)
In 1991, actor Fred MacMurray passes away.
In 2003, singer Bobby Hatfield passes away.

Okay, gotta get moving. Sat here too long.

From the desk of Christopher Stires
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(Parts of my Monthly Newsletter that went out Today)

Hope you are all doing well. I missed October. Don't know how that happened. I really like the Halloween month.

My short story, "The Killing Moon," has been translated into Finnish and published in the latest issue of Spin Magazine.

My short story, "Blood Alley," has been translated into Dutch for the Netherlands anthology Pure Fantasy.

My latest movie reviews -- Snakes on a Plane, The Descent, and Silent Hill -- are up at the newest issue of Dred (http://www.dredtales.com/FreePage21.htm). If you're a horror fan, you owe it to yourself to see The Descent.

I did an interview that can be read at Voices in the Dark (http://www.mysteryfiction.net/)

A reprint of my article "The Character Moment" also appeared in the Voices in the Dark newsletter (http://www.mysteryfiction.net/Voiceinthedarknewsletter.html)

An excerpt of my novel, To the Mountain of the Beast (http://www.carnifexpress.net) , and a reprint of "Spun Monkey" is on Bewildering Stories (http://www.bewilderingstories.com/).

Manic Press has closed and the anthology Haunted Hellhouses of Horror, in which I had a story, has been cancelled.

REBEL NATION
The Alternate-History Thriller
Available in Trade Paperback from Zumaya Publications (www.zumayapublications.com) and
Order On-Line from BookSurge (www.booksurgedirect.com) or Amazon (www.amazon.com)

“A chilling alternate history suspense novel …
Stires builds a memorable cast of characters that rivals the best of Turtledove.” – Apex Science Fiction & Horror Digest
"... a novel heavy in alternate reality and rich in character...
you forget at parts that this is not a history book or based on real events." -- EpicSFF
"... a twisting, intriguing and downright solid story that shouldn't be passed over." -- The Romance Studio
"This is an intriguing novel ... fast paced .. a lot going on .... I like the twists both in the plot and in the world." -- The Eternal Night (UK)

THE INHERITANCE
Winner of the 2003 Dream Realm Award for Horror
Available in trade paperback from Zumaya Publications: www.zumayapublications.com
“… a very good first novel ... an excellent introduction to an author who shows promise for big things." -- Fangoria Magazine "In all, a very well written book reminiscent of my favourite, Dean Koontz." -- Eternal Night Magazine (UK) “Rarely do stories capture the reader's interest so absolutely, but this one does … sinister and chilling…” -- Timeless Tales
Available in Trade Paperback from Zumaya Publications (www.zumayapublications.com)
and
Order On-Line from BookSurge

(www.booksurgedirect.com)

or Amazon (www.amazon.com)

To the Mountain of the Beast
Science-Fiction Horror/Western

"This is the first fiction I’ve read in a long time that I devoured in one sitting because I was anxious to see what would happen next." -- author Raymond Obstfeld. "...if you always wondered what Louis L'Amour might do with aliens -- give this one a read ... Stires is a consistently entertaining and consistently suspenseful writer." -- editor and author Daniel Blackston. "The Wild West and the wilder outer space collide for a fast-paced romp." – author Simon Wood. "Chris Stires has written a whip-smart novella that allows his talents as a writer to shine: dynamic characters, intelligent plotting, and a writing style that drives the reader from chapter to chapter." – publisher and author Jason Sizemore.

Available at Amazon, Carnifex Press and Shocklines
(web addresses listed below)

Clash of Steel: Book Three -- Demon
Sword-and-Sorcery Anthology -- my story "The Beast of Lyoness"
Available at Carnifex Press, Project: Pulp, and Shocklines
(web addresses listed below)

Coming soon:

Reprints of "The Last Gathering" will be appearing at Bewildering Stories. Also “The Hunters” in France’s Phenix Magazine, “Blood Hunt” in Greece’s Dramaturges of the Yann Magazine, and "Black Moon Night" in France's Borderline.

Also coming from Zumaya Publications (no release date yet) is my third novel, the ghost tale Dark Legend.

Cool Links TO CHECK OUT:

Apex Digest (http://www.apexdigest.com/index.shtml) Science Fiction and Horror Magazine. Both Print and On-Line issues.

Carnifex Press (http://www.carnifexpress.net) A fresh face in epic fantasy, horror, and science fiction publishing.

Dred (http://www.dredtales.com/) Bill Hughes' dark fiction quarterly.

Fangoria Magazine (http://www.fangoria.com) Premiere Horror Magazine.

Pitch-Black Books (http://www.pitchblackbooks.com/) Heroic fiction publisher.

SFReader (http://www.sfreader.com/) Speculative Fiction Book Reviews and More.

Shocklines (http://store.yahoo.com/shocklines/) Your One Stop for Horror.

Zumaya Publications (www.zumayapublications.com) The best in small press fiction.


Musings:

"Why do bills travel at twice the speed through the mail than checks?"

Take care till next time. Write if you get the chance.

Give to the Red Cross www.redcross.org

A SONG

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Every once in a while a song comes along that strikes a cord within me. "Yesterday," "Forever and Always," "My Second Thirty Years," and "Unforgettable" come immediately to mind. Now there's a new one the list. I'm not a big Toby Keith fan. I like some of his music but he has one song that I immediately change the radio when it comes on. However one of the latest has me turning up the radio. I like it. I relate to it. (Okay, I don't relate to all of it but I do relate to the main chorus.)

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I ain't as good as I once was

But I'm as good once as I ever was

Halloween is Today

... Trick or Treat

1 Day till Halloween

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"trick or treat ... see you in your dreams heh-heh-heh"

2 Days till Halloween

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"trick or treat ... smiling makes you pretty -- delicious"

3 Days till Halloween

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"trick or treat ... you're zombie meat"

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Don't forget to set your clocks back one hour tonight when you go to bed. Back to Standard Time.

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Haven't posted or written anything in the last few days. Had a colonoscopy on Wednesday and, while nothing serious was found, I've just had the don't-wanna-do-nuthing blues eversince. Did rent Slither, Rest Stop, The Proposition, and American Dreamz. Can't recommend any of them. Did watch (again) Dave with Kevin Kline. That movie I heartily recommend. Okay, bye for now.

WRITER'S WORKSPACES

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Mystery author M.D. Benoit (Metered Space and Meter Made) is posting photos of the writing workspaces of other Zumaya authors on her blog Life's Weirder than Fiction (http://www.mdbenoit.com/blog/). It's a pretty cool idea and I'm enjoying seeing where other writers work. Well, I am a bit jealous of thriller writer Cheryl (Death Game) Swanson's location. {Let's see here ... mind wandering ... storyline -- our heroine posts pictures of her home and friends and family on her blog and a pyscho gets jealous and ...} Anyway, I took pictures of my workspace desk and every photo came out looking like a write in the dark. Hey, I heard that. Yeah, some of my critics would say I do write in the dark. I'm still going to take some more photos and see if they turn out. In the meantime, check out Dom's blog then go to Zumaya Publications (www.zumayapublications.com) and order some books. Good stuff, folks, and the Holiday Season is coming faster than you think.

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Photo above: Sam Clemens was one of the first authors to use a typewriter. I wonder what he could've done with a P.C.

CLASH OF STEEL: DEMON

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There's a solid review of the sword-and-sorcery anthology from Armand Rosamilia's Carnifex Press at Howard von Darkmoor's website (http://vondarkmoor.blogspot.com/2006/10/clash-of-steel-demon-rosamilia-ed.html).

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Check it out. Buy a copy (or several). Yes, I have a story in it.

11 Days till Halloween

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"trick or treat ... you mean, you just knock on the door and they'll give you candy to go away? I like it"

WRITER’S TALE OF TERROR AND HORROR
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I had this dream the other day and I decided to share. Maybe I'm over-doing the Halloween stuff.

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Dear Chris:

Thank you so much for submitting your story, “Flaming Asses & Elbows,” to us. Yes, we want to publish it. In fact, the entire editorial board agrees unanimously for the first time in our history that we want your story to be the lead title on our winter issue. I want you to know our two staff artists are battling to see who gets to do the illustrations for your work. Payment will be at the top of our scale. The marketing department will contact you separately. Contracts to follow.

Excellent work,
Editor Biff
World Famous Magazine

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Dear Editor Biff:

The story I submitted to WFM was entitled “Bag of Griffins.” I did not write a story called “Flaming Asses & Elbows.” You have somehow confused me with someone else.

Sincerely,

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Dearest Chris:

How can we argue with that? Our publisher has agreed to double our usual rates for your story. Furthermore, the people at Entertainment Weekly and 60 Minutes will be contacting you for interviews. I wouldn’t be surprised if representatives from Universal Studios and/or Warner Brothers contact you about the film rights. They somehow (hee-hee-hee) saw the galleys for the story. It still boggles our minds that a 10-year-old girl for who English is her second language was able to create such a dark and moody tale as “Flaming Asses & Elbows.”

Award-winning work,
Editor Biff
World Famous Magazine

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Biff:

Read this slowly. This is the fourth email I have sent you. I didn’t write “Flaming Asses & Elbows.” You have the wrong email address!

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Dear Chris:

Our humblest apologies. Your email address was mixed up with someone else’s. We hope this error did not cause you any grief. We have just finished reading your story, “Bag of Griffins,” and we regret that we must turn it down. I will admit that your story was smooth and polished, the characterization and dialogue incredible, and the ending was completely unique and spirit lifting. Unfortunately, it was too similar in many ways to the lead story in our winter issue. For example, both tales take place on Earth and both are told in the third person. Please consider us for future submissions.

Disheartened,
Editor Biff
World Famous Magazine

PS – Because I felt so bad about the mistake our former secretary made, I forwarded a copy of your story to my old college roommate who is the Executive Fiction Editor at Everyone Knows Our Name Magazine. I’m sure “Flaming Asses & Elbows” and “Bag of Griffins” will be competing for the same literary awards.

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Submitter Criss:

Where did you get the idea you could write? I want you to know I had to wash my hands and eyes after reading this crap. Hell, it gives crap a bad rep. You shouldn’t be allowed to write a grocery list. Never submit to us again. Your email address will be permanently blocked at our site. You’re an untalented s.o.b.

Editor Hurley

Everyone Knows Our Name Magazine

LIFE LESSONS
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A friend sent me this list. I thought I’d share. I don’t know where Chuck got it. If I did, I’d credit the author. The photo above is from Annie. It’s the view from her back porch in Minnesota.

As I grow older, I look upon the lessons I have learned in life--

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Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
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Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
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Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
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If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never triedbefore.
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Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
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A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention! It never fails.)
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For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
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Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
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A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
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Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
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Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
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No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
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A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
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Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist
change places.
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Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeksbefore you need it.